DoNM: We need a get together

Having a narcissistic mother isn’t the only loss I’ve suffered. I lost my only child in 1999. About year after that I found an organized group of parents who had lost only children and was having a conference in Washington, DC. I can’t tell you how healing it was for me to talk to other parents who had lost only children, and more specifically I met single moms who had lost their only child. I desperately needed to talk to people who knew how I felt.

The first loss I suffered was me — to a narcissistic mother. I can’t help but think daughters of narcissistic mothers also desperately need to talk to people who know how they feel. I try to tell people I had a bad mom, but if it’s someone who grew up in a fairly normal family they have no concept what I’m talking about.

Talking to a counselor is obviously important to the healing process, but I wonder if being able to talk to other daughters and share the experience and the huge efforts to heal up from all the damage might be even more beneficial in some ways. Part of the crazy making thing of being raised by a narcissist is their total denial of any wrong doing. I want to talk to people who know the wrong doing I’m talking about.

Commiserating is a big part of healing.

Maybe we could have a night to burn our mothers in effigy — just kidding. Or maybe not… I don’t know about anyone else but I felt like my mother’s evil behavior just wouldn’t die. I don’t know if driving a stake through her heart would have stopped her since  I’m not sure she had a heart. Maybe a symbolic burning in effigy wouldn’t be that bad of an idea.

Seriously — I think we need to stick together, give each other hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and a sympathetic ear. We need a national or international organization.

If anyone knows of organizations for DoNM please post a comment and let me know.